So I know we're basically at the end of the first term of second year! Good golly that went quick, however it equally feels like ages until we break up for Christmas (which I'm ever so excited for!)
Now I didn't really post much on my feelings about uni last year - because I was just starting out my blog and didn't really want to be moaning and depressing the whole thing with my problems.
The truth is, I hated it last year. Uni wasn't what I thought it was. I felt awful. I was scared, I was lonely, I was far from home, I was doing a course that was difficult and I didn't really want to go into afterwards.
Of course there were some good times, I met some nice people, we had a few good nights out. I did learn loads about myself and luckily a bit about Biology (my course) too in that first year. Personally looking back I do feel a gap year would have been good for me. Some time out to travel, recover fully, work and earn a bit of money and be more ready and prepared for the change. But then again hind sight is a wonderful thing and I didn't so...
Anyway, I've decided to stay and I'm now coming on 8 weeks into year 2. This year I can say that I'm enjoying it waayyyy more than last year. And here's a few reasons why;
- I know how it works;
I think now that I've experienced my course and uni life for a year I know what to expect and how to deal with things a bit better.
- I'm more familiar with people;
Although I haven't made absolute best friends yet, I feel more comfortable knowing people and having some friends to spend a bit of time with or just chat to between lectures, instead of feeling totally alone.
- I've decided not to put pressure on it
It's only 3 years of my life (after deciding the year in industry's not for me) and I shouldn't put so much pressure on it. I think I felt last year, that it was all so important, each exam and piece of work had to be perfect and that because I was paying ridiculous amounts, that I should be making the most of it. Which is true in part, but I've realised now that it's not like school anymore, now's the time to make mistakes and take risks, whether it be 'let's see if I can do this essay in 2 hours prior to hand-in' or 'try this module or course or society and see if I like it'. And at the end of the day... the worst thing that can happen is that I fail, and let's me honest that doesn't make me a bad person, it probably won't happen and there's more important things in the world.
- I'm more comfortable with myself
I felt so pressured last year to go out all the time, drink loads and join in on absolutely everything in case I was thought of as 'the boring one' or missed out on something brilliant - this year I've had no problem saying no to going out or going to some random course or gathering and no-ones judged me or thought I was weird, (or if they did they forgot after 5 minutes) so just remember no-one really cares! Just be yourself, do what you enjoy, because everyone's different and there's nothing wrong in what you like doing/not doing!!
I guess what I'm trying to say amongst all this babbling, is that if you're a first year hating life and not sure if uni is for you, that's OK. Although I didn't exactly love my time last year, I do feel it was a very valuable learning curve and I learnt a lot about myself and my comfort zone and (although I'm still learning) when and when not to branch outside of it. Uni is much more enjoyable now, that I'm just living each day as it comes, doing things that I want and that I'm comfortable with and seeing everything as a great opportunity as opposed to dreading it all and thinking it's all hugely important.
How do you guys feel? I know everyone sees it differently, but I thought I was totally weird for not liking it that much, but I'm sure I'm not the only one.